Roman Around

The saddest thing about Al Franken’s victory in Minnesota is not that the US Senate will now have a total of fifty-eight Democrats (plus two Independents who routinely cuddle up with the Dems), thus making it filibuster proof. (Republicans weren’t showing they had the stomachs for a filibuster anyway). It’s not that the State of Minnesota will have an indecorous, foulmouthed, spasmodic, bitter hothead representing it in Washington. It’s not that yet another card-carrying Leftocrat will be serving on Capitol Hill, joining the liberty-raping, free-market stifling, big government Obamacrat majority. It’s not that a contemptible, derogatory, flame-throwing, uncouth buffoon – with all the charm and appeal of a blood blister – will begin a six-year term in Congress.

No, the saddest thing about Al Franken’s victory is that a good man – a very good man – Norm Coleman, is leaving office.

Truly one of the good guys, Coleman’s departure from the Senate in favor of a choleric, boorish, loud-mouthed, expletive-happy, unfunny, washed-up comedian (and failed talk-show host) is very despairing.

And so it is, that as an honorable public servant like Coleman steps aside, a man with as much poise and dignity as an abdominal cramp will now answer the calling to public service.

That light you see in the sky is not the sun kissing the horizon, but rather the glow of proud Minnesotans who will now have the privilege of getting what they paid for.

Yes, I know that half of all of those who voted in Minnesota – less 312 – did not ask for this. They did not subscribe to a six-year frolic with Stuart Smalley.

You all have my deepest sympathies and prayers.

I know the pain you must feel.

Perhaps attending a support group – or sharing a case of tequila – may help.

The sad reality is that the Leftocrats have won again.

Yes, eight months after the United States propelled an inadequate, over-his-head, bona fide leftist community organizer into the Oval Office – and six months after the new President’s long-promised fundamental transformation of this country began – yet another hate-America-first product of the 1960s is packing his bags for Washington to “serve the people.”

Lucky us.

And so the long fight is over.

The Minnesota Supreme Court has spoken.

Mr. Coleman has conceded.

Liberals, leftists, Marxists and other children are bouncing for joy at the Franken victory. From MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, the trumpets of victory are sure to sound. From CNN to the New York Times, the celebrations will surely begin. From Fisherman’s Wharf to Greenwich Village, the orgasmic triumphant bellows of Obamacrats and other lock-step drones will certainly be loud and steady. Opinion pieces declaring conservatism to be even more dead than it was after Obama’s anointment are sure to pepper editorial pages across the map.

It comes with the territory.

My head is shaking not at the court’s decision, nor at the protracted, bitterly-fought battle that lasted the better part of a year to resolve.

It is what it is.

I shake my head because through eight months of trials and tribulations – through months of back-and-forth ballot counting and verification, legal wrangling and squabbling – I am still left asking one simple question … What the hell were 1.2 million Minnesotans thinking?

That a person like Smalley could even garner such a close vote in an election with a good and decent man like Coleman is astonishing.

That he could win is frightening.

I’m simply trying to figure it all out.

(I’m also trying to figure out why I am a devoted New York Mets fan, but that’s a separate issue).

Anyway, my initial instinct is that Senator Smalley will ultimately prove to be nothing more than an irrelevant and entertaining slice of comic relief on Capitol Hill (more so than Democrats already are) and will actually help to invigorate the Republicans in the long run.

Indeed, I have heard many conservatives complain that Coleman wasn’t conservative enough – a RINO, if you will. (Republican In Name Only). He deserved to lose because of some ridiculous ethanol bill.

Yeah, okay.

Even if Coleman had a horn on his nose, it doesn’t change the fact that the new Senator from Minnesota is  Al bleeping Franken.

Saying it five or six times doesn’t make it any better either.

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