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Archive for January, 2009

HALL OF FAME BOUND

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 12, 2009

rickey-is-all-about-rickeyRickey Henderson is on his way to the Baseball Hall of Fame. If ever the phrase “no brainer” is applicable, it is here. Besides being the only player in the history of the game to reach four digits in career stolen bases (1406), he sits atop the all-time list of runs scored (2295), ahead of names you may have heard before: Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and Hank Aaron. He has over 3,000 career hits – generally considered an automatic ticket to Cooperstown, is second all-time in walks (2190), was the American League Most Valuable Player in 1990, appeared in ten all-star games, and played for two world championship teams.

Personally, Rickey Henderson was never a favorite of mine. I never rooted for him, nor did I ever get particularly excited watching him play. I don’t think it had anything to do with his self-absorbed narcissistic nature, or his arrogance. He just never “did it” for me. This isn’t to disparage him in any way, because if anyone is deserving of being a first-ballot hall-of-famer, it is Henderson.

In his prime, there was no one quite like him.

I remember quite vividly the 1989 American League Championship Series when he was playing for Oakland. Admittedly, he was an absolute witch on the base paths, swiping eight bags.

Sick.

Henderson received 94.8 of the vote from the Baseball Writer’s Association of America to get into the Hall. (75% is needed).

rice-in-his-primeJim Rice, on the other hand, has been at the Hall’s door before – fourteen times to be exact – only to be turned away each time … until now. In his last year of eligibility, Rice garnered 76.4 of the vote to finally earn his spot among the game’s all-time greats.

Whether it was Rice’s love-hate relationship with the press (mostly hate), or the fact that his all-time numbers were not particularly earth-shattering, many believed Rice would probably never get in.

Rice, for a stretch of time in the 1970s, was one of the game’s most feared hitters. Unlike Henderson, Rice was one of my favorites when I was a boy. Between 1977 and 1979, he was nothing short of dangerous. Rice averaged 41 home runs, 127 RBI, 207 hits, 114 runs scored and a had a batting average of .320.

Not bad.

In 11 of his 16 seasons, he hit 20 or more home runs. He was the American League MVP in 1978 – his best year – when he hit .315, smacked 46 homers and knocked in 139 runs. He was an eight-time all-star.  And, interestingly enough, he is the only player in the history of the game to lead not only his own league, but the entire Major Leagues in triples, home runs, and RBIs in the same season.

In short … if Bill Mazeroski is in the Hall of Fame, Jim Rice damn well deserves to be there.

Congratulations to both.

Incidentally, the late Joe Gordon – second basemen for the Yankees and Indians between 1938 and 1950 – will be inducted posthumously. Gordon was a nine-time all-star. He passed away in 1978.

The induction ceremony is July 26th in (of course) Cooperstown, New York.

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BUSH DEFENDS TACTICS … THANK GOODNESS

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 12, 2009

bushr0309_468x369

Lord knows that President George W. Bush has rubbed this conservative the wrong way on more than several occasions – from his propensity to spend like a Kennedy on kahlua, to his declaration that the way to save the free market system is to abandon free-market principals.

Recall, that it was Bush who implemented a stimulus package not too long ago by sending out checks to taxpayers at the expense of other taxpayers. (It all sounds so liberal, doesn’t it?) What a rousing success that was (not really) – so much so that under our new President, we are going to do it all over again, only this time, exponentially larger in scale. (That’s what makes a liberal a liberal. If something doesn’t work, do more of it).

However, with eight days left in his Presidency, Bush is actually stepping up to defend something that absolutely needs ardent defending from the Commander-In-Chief of the United States (particularly in a time of war) – and it’s good to actually hear him fight back for a change.

Bush is defending his record on interrogation.

Good for him.

Patrick O’Conner of Politico writes:

President Bush on Sunday defended controversial interrogation measures established by his administration, arguing that techniques like water-boarding helped save American lives.

“The techniques…were necessary and are necessary to be used on a rare occasion to get information to protect the American people,” Bush said during an expansive exit interview that aired on Fox Sunday.

Citing an interrogation with Al Qaeda strategist Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, which included simulated drowning, otherwise known as “waterboarding,” the outgoing president said, “We believe the information we gained helped save lives on American soil.”

The Bush administration has been criticized by civil liberties advocates and others for the use of, and legal justifications underpinning, these harsh interrogation methods. President-elect Barack Obama has already promised to review these policies when he takes the oath of office later this month.

One of the great puzzles of the past several years has been this administration’s complete unwillingness to challenge the multitude of false assertions put forth by the cackling left – things have been repeated so often that they are simply accepted as truth.

Indeed, there were no “ready-to-fire” weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq, but the administration has been absolutely silent on the tons of uranium found there (meant for what? barbecuing?), or the endless documents discovered there that do, in fact, tie Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda in a variety of different ways. Bush has chosen to let falsehood after disingenuous accusation after lie continue to spew from on leftward unchallenged – and it has been supremely frustrating.

But here, the President is standing firm. He rejects the idea that the aggressive interrogation techniques he has defended amount to the condoning of torture.

Said the President:

“I firmly reject the word ‘torture.’ Everything this administration does had a legal basis to it; otherwise, we would not have done it … Look, I understand why people can get carried away on this issue, but generally they don’t know the facts … But I am concerned that America, at some point in time, lets down her guard. If we do that, the country becomes highly vulnerable.”

Is there anyone out there who honestly believes that the past seven-plus years of mainland safety has been the result of nothing more indimidating than dirty looks, name-calling, promissory notes and flaming bags of dog poop on the enemy’s front porch? Save for two car bombs that detonated outside the American Embassy in Yemen in September of last year (killing ten Yemenis), American interests all over the world have been safe from terror attacks since 9/11 precisely because the United States engages in such aggressive tactics when necessary.

Those are the key words: when necessary.

By a show of hands, who out there in the real world believes that bold and forceful interrogation techniques were not used in helping to maintain the security of the United States?

By an equal show of hands, who would be willing to take a chance on how safe things might be without those techniques?

Citing an interrogation with Al Qaeda strategist Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, which included simulated drowning, otherwise known as “waterboarding,” the outgoing president said, “We believe the information we gained helped save lives on American soil.”

In the exit interview, Bush specifically mentioned Mohammed, whose interrogation became a flashpoint in the broader legal debate about the rights of suspected terrorists detained abroad.

Mohammed, a top Al Qaeda strategist, was arrested in Pakistan and eventually flown to a secret detention site in Poland, where he reportedly endured a series of harsh interrogation methods, most notably waterboarding. But Bush administration officials have repeatedly argued that that session with Mohammed gave them leads to prevent other attacks.

2023183793_ec4a92fc95When serious matters – such as national security – are left to the children-of-the-Chomsky left, it is only a matter of time before innocent Americans pay the price. Leftocrats may know how to emote with world-class non-confrontational Zinn moral-equivalency, but the actual safety of Americans needs to be left to the adults. That libs still argue for stopping any and all harsh methods of interrogation for fear that American soldiers will, thus, be treated just as brutally (and worse) if captured in war makes me wonder how lefties can ever be taken seriously at all.

Am I then correct to assume, using dumb-o-crat logic, that if Americans only played nice, then the throat-cutting, embassy blasting, IED exploding, ramming planes-into-buildings Islamo-fascists would follow suit?

The terrorists are following our lead?

Anyone who believes that, stand on your head.

It would surprise me beyond words to know that outside of academia, Young Democrat Clubs, hard-leftists, media types and John Mellencamp that too many Americans are really losing shut-eye over the possibility of human debris terrorist scum-buckets undergoing “intense questioning” – especially when American lives are at stake.

I was not surprised to read, however, that President-Elect Obama “promised to review these policies when he takes the oath of office later this month.”

He views “waterboarding” as torture.

How nice.

That methods of aggresive interrogation don’t always work should not be an issue. There is no institution or practice that is perfect. Should we eliminate police because some criminals get away? Should we abandon the courts because on rare occassions the innocent are jailed? The fact is, aggressive interrogation has worked in the past  – as in the case of Khalid Shaikh Mohammed – and has unquestionably saved countless lives. That alone should keep the option open to anyone who takes national security seriously.

If the choice comes down to innocent Americans versus the toenails, eyelids and nostrils of a terrorist who would slash the throats of my daughters even if we offered back massages and reclining chairs to enemy combatants, there is no contest.

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TURN UP THE GOOGLE

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 11, 2009

google-betaMore Google searches needed, please.

With some areas in Alaska dipping into the minus-seventy degree range, record cold temperatures sweeping across Europe, and some climate scientists now believing that the Earth could actually be entering another Ice Age, the answer may be to keep on “searching,” at least according to physicist Alex Wissner-Gross.

He says that running two Google searches from your computer consumes as much energy as boiling water for a cup of tea.

I assume this is a bad thing.

From the Times Online:

While millions of people tap into Google without considering the environment, a typical search generates about 7g of CO2 Boiling a kettle generates about 15g. “Google operates huge data centres around the world that consume a great deal of power,” said Alex Wissner-Gross, a Harvard University physicist whose research on the environmental impact of computing is due out soon. “A Google search has a definite environmental impact.”

This story can probably fit neatly into the “Global Warming Is Going To Kill Us All” file … but the file may soon be obsolete – as I (and many many others) have predicted for a long time. Not only is the entire human-induced “global warming” phenomenon proving to be silly science fiction, but many are now wishing that all of it were, in fact, true.

From Pravda, of all places:

The earth is now on the brink of entering another Ice Age, according to a large and compelling body of evidence from within the field of climate science. Many sources of data which provide our knowledge base of long-term climate change indicate that the warm, twelve thousand year-long Holocene period will rather soon be coming to an end, and then the earth will return to Ice Age conditions for the next 100,000 years.

Ice cores, ocean sediment cores, the geologic record, and studies of ancient plant and animal populations all demonstrate a regular cyclic pattern of Ice Age glacial maximums which each last about 100,000 years, separated by intervening warm interglacials, each lasting about 12,000 years.

Bring on the heat.

I think it is safe to say that the evidence of an oncoming Ice Age is, at least, as credible as any evidence one may pull out of their agenda-driven top hats to predict a doomed future for Earth due to man-made global warming – but it will be interesting to watch how many stories of a possible coming Ice Age make it into mainstream media news broadcasts and newspapers.

Of course, I still marvel at how often tomorrow’s weather forecast veers off the mark, but that’s me.

The climate, to quote a phrase, is bigger than us all.

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HUSBAND OF THE YEAR FINALIST THREE, 2008

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 10, 2009

husband-of-the-year-3

Can you move it along there, babe? 

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GLOBAL WARMING FRIGIDITY

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 10, 2009

the planet is heating up

the planet is heating up

Russia may have cut back on natural gas supplies to Europe this week, but they’ve certainly had a whole lot of Siberia to share as global warming continued to keep most of Europe in a deep freeze.

Since last month, global warming frigidity has gripped that continent like Jimmy Carter grips contemptibility.

In Germany, for instance, three deaths have been attributed to the brutal cold. In addition, water ways have frozen over, and ship traffic on the River Elbe north to Hamburg has been stifled.

It is one of the coldest German winters in a century.

In Poland, as many as 83 people (mostly homeless) have died since the beginning over November due to the warming arctic blast.

Heavy snow in France effectively shut down Marseille – a port city in the south – for two days.

In Spain, Madrid’s Barajas Airport saw all four of its runways shut down for four hours after a rare blast of snow wreaked havoc there.

Meanwhile, the International Panel on Climate Change predicts that by the year 2100, half the world could be starving – thanks to global warming.

It predicts a 6 degree Fahrenheit rise in average growing-season temperatures in many areas and a 20 to 40 percent drop in crop yields. The hardest hit will be the tropics and subtropics, home to some of the world’s poorest populations. “You are talking about hundreds of millions of additional people looking for food because they won’t be able to find it where they find it now” [Reuters], said study co-author David Battisti.

That must mean that the colder temperatures get, the better it is for crops.

If that is, in fact, the case, then happy days are here again for the United States. Record harvests could be on the way.

AccuWeather.com Senior Meteorologist John Kocet writes:

This is about as bad as it gets folks. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it since 1994. Sure its been very cold at times over the past 14 years, but the total area impacted by this cold wave will be huge. By next Thursday and Friday, extremely cold air will chill the entire area from the Great Plains to the Eastern Seaboard, and the cold is also going to reach the Deep South. Only the far West will be unscathed.

From the central Plains to the Northeast temperatures are going below zero; there is no question about it. Meanwhile, the Upper Midwest and northern New England could experience readings lower than 30 below zero!

One might have to go back to Jan. 1994 to find anything worse. In that bitter outbreak, temperatures went below zero from the central Plains to the East Coast. In New York there is a chance it will go below zero next Thursday or Friday night. The last time New York City experienced a below-zero temperature was Jan. 1994.

Oh, global warming, why do you mock us?

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FOR PETA’S SAKE

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 10, 2009

From the folks who brought you the rousing “Holocaust On Your Plate” campaign, comes a brand new initiative – not nearly as disgusting or morally reprehensible, but just as deliciously inane.

The masterminds of PETA (People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals) have decided that the word “fish” must be retired from the American lexicon.

From now on, they will refer to those slippery and scaly creatures that swim in the rivers and oceans as “sea kittens.”

No, really.

From their website:

sea-kitten-lovePeople don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Directly beneath this paragraph is a link directing visitors to contact the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service so that they might “stop promoting sea kitten hunting.”

(Shouldn’t that be the U.S. Sea Kitten and Wildlife Service?)

Visitors are also invited to read sea kitten stories or create their own sea kittens.

Incidentally, here’s a fun fact about sea kittens you may not have known:

Like their surface-dwelling cousins, the land kittens, sea kittens enjoy being petted. Their lack of arms makes it difficult for them to pet back, but they often gently rub against each other as a sign of affection.

Talk about feeling dumb.

How could I have ever misinterpreted the intended affections of that bluegill that nipped at my ankles … or the northern pike that took a tiny bite at my knees … or the puffer with the bad attutude who jumped from the tank to latch onto my finger.

Funny … every time I stuck my hand in the fish bowl as a kid, the goldfish always made a run for it (or a swim). Maybe it was the look on my face.

Here’s another sea kitten fact:

Sea kittens talk to each other through squeaks, squeals, and other low-frequency sounds that humans can only hear through special instruments. Most ichthyologists—scientists who specialize in sea kitten biology—agree that this is just about the cutest thing ever.

You know what else was cute?

The first time I took my twin daughters to McDonalds for a daddy-daughter(s) lunch and we ordered our “Fillet-O-Sea Kitten” sandwiches with fries.

You can’t get those memories back.

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UNITED NATIONS SAYS COOL IT

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 9, 2009

UN Security Council

This may be a knee-jerk reaction on my part – and I’m willing to concede the point – but in my defense, I have a long track record from which I can accurately draw this specific conclusion.  I call it the “American Rule of Thumb.” In short, whatever world opinion is, go with the opposite.

Simple.

Whatever the consensus from the rest of the world may be on any subject of relevance, go in the other direction.

The United Nations Security Council has called for an immediate cease-fire in Gaza – and, of course, because this is coming from the ever-reliable, always morally clear institution that sits off the East River in Manhattan, my initial instinct is that it must be the wrong thing to do.

Not particularly analytical of me, I know.

The vote was 14-0, with the United States abstaining.

From Fox News:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the U.S. agrees with the principles of the cease-fire resolution but wants to see the outcome of an Egyptian effort to bring the Israelis and Palestinians to the negotiating table.

The cease-fire resolution spearheaded by Egypt and France must be “not just applauded, but supported,” Rice said.

Despite the breakthrough in the United Nations, the two-week-old war in the Gaza Strip raged on, and early Friday, an Israeli airstrike flattened a five-story building in northern Gaza, one of more than 30 targets struck before dawn by Israeli warplanes.

I am convinced that if terrorists took over the United Nations building, the multicultural occupants (those still in possession of their jugular veins) would spend the next hours debating on which shade of white the surrender flag ought to be – that is, after laying blame at the tootsies of the United States and Israel for pissing off the “minding their own business” terrorists.

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PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 8, 2009

It’s official.

Just a few moments ago, Congress tallied the votes from November’s Presidential election.

Spoiler alert: Barack Obama is officially the President-Elect of the United States with 365 electoral votes.

In other news, the infection on my pinky toe has gone away. Thanks for the cards and letters.

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THIRD HAND SMOKE

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 8, 2009

Second Hand Smoke Ashtray

Second Hand Smoke Ashtray

That there will be any more humans left to populate the earth in the years to come ought to be sufficient enough evidence that God not only exists, but that He is tinkering to make it so. The idea of a species being able to survive the hellish construct of its intrusive and destructive existence, like the one homosapiens have built for themselves, is as farcical and ludicrous as the thinking that denies the imminent dangers of man-made global warming.

At least that’s what one would have to believe after a rudimentary perusal of today’s mainstream doomdsay media.

Everything is going to kill us, because everything – except perhaps assorted organic vegetables served on recycled rice-paper plates – is bad.

How we’ve survived this long is a mystery. How generations of meat-eating, cigarette smoking, coffee drinking Americans ever made it to middle age is a mind-bending puzzle that rivals the formation of crop circles or the success of Keanu Reeves. Human activity serves as a corrosive agent to the fragile egg-shell-like eco-systems that combine to create the whole of existence on an otherwise beautiful Earth.

Our mere being is toxic.

And now, a new scare … the latest hazard … a brand new concern that only a few months ago could have probably come from National Lampoon, Saturday Night Live or The Onion.

Third-hand smoke.

It sounds so asinine, so comical … but it is apparently very real. And if you aren’t already, you ought to be afraid.

New York Times correspondent Roni Carin Robyn writes:

Parents who smoke often open a window or turn on a fan to clear the air for their children, but experts now have identified a related threat to children’s health that isn’t as easy to get rid of: third-hand smoke.

That’s the term being used to describe the invisible yet toxic brew of gases and particles clinging to smokers’ hair and clothing, not to mention cushions and carpeting, that lingers long after second-hand smoke has cleared from a room. The residue includes heavy metals, carcinogens and even radioactive materials that young children can get on their hands and ingest, especially if they’re crawling or playing on the floor.

Doctors from Mass General Hospital for Children in Boston coined the term “third-hand smoke” to describe these chemicals in a new study that focused on the risks they pose to infants and children. The study was published in this month’s issue of the journal Pediatrics.

A theme I revisit regularly in many of my articles is the idea of health as a new morality.

Indeed, health issues have evolved, without question, into moral imperatives in the twenty-first century leftist mind – from peanut allergy-conscious school districts that choose to ban peanuts altogether to the proposed hyper-taxing of non-diet soda (as proposed by Governor Paterson of New York). Today’s leftist has demonized high fat cooking oil to the point that it is actually banned from use in privately owned restaurants in various locations (including New York City). Salt has even been targeted by the power-starved who know better than we do.

(If they start messing with the lard used in the pies from Amish Country, I’m putting a militia together).

And yet, there are too many who don’t see this attack on personal liberty – and thus, the relinquishing of personal responsibility – as a problem at all. After all, what could be wrong with promoting good health?

This is where our society is today. This is how we have evolved.

Smoking is now as socially stigmatizing  as out-of-wedlock birth, drug use, violence and promiscuous sex – maybe more so in some cases. So reprehensible is it, that it warrants a motion picture rating-system warning placing it along side issues that actually are morally relevant:

Contains nudity, excessive violence, strong sexual content, some drug references and brief smoking

MTV can broadcast sexually charged music videos at 4:30 in the afternoon, but smoking cigarettes on-screen in a movie warrants a PG-13 or R rating.

Robyn continues:

You're killing our babies“When their kids are out of the house, they might smoke. Or they smoke in the car. Or they strap the kid in the car seat in the back and crack the window and smoke, and they think it’s okay because the second-hand smoke isn’t getting to their kids,” Dr. Winickoff continued. “We needed a term to describe these tobacco toxins that aren’t visible.”

Third-hand smoke is what one smells when a smoker gets in an elevator after going outside for a cigarette, he said, or in a hotel room where people were smoking. “Your nose isn’t lying,” he said. “The stuff is so toxic that your brain is telling you: ’Get away.’”

The study reported on attitudes toward smoking in 1,500 households across the United States. It found that the vast majority of both smokers and nonsmokers were aware that second-hand smoke is harmful to children. Some 95 percent of nonsmokers and 84 percent of smokers agreed with the statement that “inhaling smoke from a parent’s cigarette can harm the health of infants and children.”

But far fewer of those surveyed were aware of the risks of third-hand smoke. Since the term is so new, the researchers asked people if they agreed with the statement that “breathing air in a room today where people smoked yesterday can harm the health of infants and children.” Only 65 percent of nonsmokers and 43 percent of smokers agreed with that statement, which researchers interpreted as acknowledgement of the risks of third-hand smoke.

To be clear, I am not a smoker. I haven’t taken a cigarette to my lips since February 2, 1998. I couldn’t care less if not another cigarette were sold in this country. And I am certainly not denying that cigarette smoking, over the long term, is detrimental to good health, or that people have died as a direct result of smoking.

I’d be a fool to suggest otherwise.

But hysteria is a tough thing to bob and weave from, particularly when it is coming at you from every conceivable angle. That upwards of fifty-thousand people a year supposedly die from second-hand smoke, as has been repeated over and over by crap-peddlers as absolute truth, makes one wonder why the activity hasn’t been banned completely. Fifty-thousand dead as a result of being exposed to cigarette smoke – which, incidentally, is eight thousand more than die a year as a result of car accidents on all of America’s roads combined – would seem to warrant a complete prohibition, no? If driving drunk, for instance, is a no-no (which it most certainly should be), then why not just pull the plug completely on cigarettes? After all, it kills more people.

Dennis Prager, on his Monday radio program, commented on the New York Times article:

I still don’t get it. We’re the healthiest generation in history, and our parents smoked the most, and we were exposed to the most second-hand smoke, how do {the radical anti-smoking zealots} live with that fact?

The best educated are the biggest believers in nonsense, and it’s generally the truth … whether it was heterosexual AIDS will ravage America, or Zero Population Growth will save the planet, the best educated, of course, believed in all variations of Marxism … and now you have this third-hand smoke and the dangers of this.

The smoking rate in Japan is fifty percent and the life expectancy is eighty, which is higher than ours, I believe.

Now that third-hand smoke has emerged onto the scene (and not a moment too soon), how many dead will we have to accept before cigarettes are forever banned?

Let’s hope the answer is not blowing in the wind. 

As a people, it is our moral imperative to take care of this before entire populations are wiped out from soon-to-be discovered fifth-hand smoke … or the ravages of ninth-hand smoke.

You think this is a joke?

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RESCUING PORN

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 7, 2009

Call it hard to believe.

Call it requesting a life-preserver for an industry that has gone soft.

Call it rising to an economic challenge.

Whatever half-clever nomenclature you wish to ascribe to it, there’s one thing for sure – publicity stunt or not, this is, undoubtedly, the most interesting call yet for government bailout money.

By a show of hands, who wants to lend a hand to the pornography industry?

If size matters, this bailout request is probably on the small side – only $5 billion – but its proponents are looking for serious stimulation.

From CNN’s Political Ticker:

rated-xHustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt.

“The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion.

Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

One has to believe that at some point, the demand for publications like “The Onion” will be rendered limp because of the increasing difficulty to distinguish between real life and parody.

From the absurdities of global warming to the threats of third-hand smoke, after reading things like this, I can’t help but expect someone to jump out from behind a tree yelling, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.

This may have to be the last government bailout story I write about. They keep losing their impact. The precedent has been set, and everyone has their hand out.

It’s hard to keep up.

 

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STRANGE BED FELLOWS

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 7, 2009

bigshotgunFrom the “Stay On Your Side Of The Bed” file …

Let me be clear …

It makes no difference to me what anyone chooses to cuddle up with in bed – whether it is a teddy bear, a wool blankey, a dog, a pork roast, whatever. As long as its legal and it makes him or her happy, go nuts.

And that goes for those of you who like to snuggle with shotguns.

Knock yourself out.

Just make sure you don’t knock anyone else out.

In Fargo, North Dakota, a woman, who was fast asleep with her shotgun caused it to discharge when she rolled over on top of it, sending a pellet through her bedroom wall into the neighbor’s bedroom.

From InForum News:

The woman’s neighbor wasn’t home at the time, and reported the incident to police at 10 a.m. Monday after finding the hole, Fargo Sgt. Jeff Skuza said.

No one was injured by the incident.

Police didn’t release the name of the woman Tuesday, as she had not been arrested.

Skuza declined to say why the woman was sleeping with the gun. It is not uncommon for individuals to have guns in the bedroom, but not often in bed with them, he said.

“It’s not something we recommend,” Skuza said.

I’m the biggest Second Amendment proponent this side of the Ozarks, but just a thought here …

Maybe stand up the shotgun beside the bed and find a blowup doll or a Chia Pet?

-

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COULTER BANNED?

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 6, 2009

ann-coulter-headshotWait a minute.

When NBC’s Today Show – or any of a number of left-leaning main-stream media morning excrement-fests – had on author after author demonizing President Bush during his eight years in the White House, that was perfectly acceptable.

When these masters of journalism interviewed endless lefty whinycrat pundits who couldn’t race to the guest chair fast enough to blast the President that was more than reasonable.

The fact that we were (and still are) a nation at war would never keep the morning TV video rags from booking as many Bush-slammers as possible.

Hey, they’re entitled. Free country.

(That they call themselves “objective” is what cracks me up).

But now, NBC is in protection mode.

They’ve already thrown the cuddly, warm and fuzzy protective feet-pajama shroud over our next President (as all of the mainstreamers have), sheltering him as best they can from not only criticism, but from the nasty, bitter, mean old kitten-slapping conservatives who continue to unleash on him for no other reason than to desperately keep hold of their innate bigotry, lest they lose their identity.

According to a “still developing” blurb on the Drudge Report , Ann Coulter, in support of her new book “Guilty,” was bumped from this morning’s Today Show because of overbooking.

Overbooking?

*cough*

Remind me to show you the photos of my Nebraska ocean front condo.

An “insider” at the Today Show says:

“We are just not interested in anyone so highly critical of President-elect Obama, right now. It’s such a downer. It’s just not the time, and it’s not what our audience wants, either.”

Let’s pretend.

Let’s assume for a moment that I was part of the Today Show audience. How in hell do they know what I want to see? How do they know what anyone between the coasts wants to see?

They put on what they and their Riverside Drive set want to see.

Personally, I would have loved to see more stories about military victories in the war, more in-depth coverage and analysis of the elections of pro-America heads of state overseas, and better ways to prepare chicken marsala… but I’ve always been admittedly delusional. (I also want Hamas to stop firing missiles into Israel, Republicans to stop acting like liberals and all terrorists to die). Instead, everyone from Bob Woodward to Vincent Bugliosi to Michael Moore took those morning show seats, peddling their “downer” anti-Bush crap, crackling about everything from impeachment to war crimes while the nation was at war.

Nope. No bias there.

In the wake of NBC giving the boot to Coulter, CBS stepped in and agreed to attack her – er, interview her.

Kudos to Harry Smith from CBS’s Morning Show for reinforcing what those of us here in reality have already known for quite some time – that the mainstream media’s blatant biases are now pinned to their collective sleeves like Greenwich Village peace signs or Barack Obama’s face to every checkout-stand magazine cover in all of creation.

Imagine Smith or anyone in MSM-land beginning an interview with Michael Moore or Al Franken this way:

You know what? You want to be taken seriously. I sense that. Right?

Disgusting condescension from on high.

Coulter, of course, has parried with folks far more equipped for verbal sparring than the likes of Harry Smith. She responded without missing a beat (to some studio laughter):

Well, I make serious points but often in a humorous way. For example, with you, Harry, because today, you are the most brilliant person in the mainstream media, the most manly, and I’m totally reconsidering my approach of attacking everyone in the media I then want to interview me for my books.

Of course, Smith – ill-fitted to actually discuss the issues of the liberal propensity toward victimization as written by Coulter in the book – goes back to the mount:

I took you seriously. I read 150 pages last night … Here’s my problem: Because you try to be funny, because you have this kind of sophomoric, sort of simplistic kind of view of so many things, the points that should be taken seriously – this whole section on single motherhood should be part of the American conversation right now. Because you’re so goofy, who’s going to take you seriously?

Replied Coulter:

As any comedy writer will tell you, “sophomoric” is New York Times code for “funny.” I thank you for that.

Nice.

There is now talk that both NBC and MSNBC have become “Coulter-free” zones.

Hey, the free market is the free market. NBC can ban whomever they wish.

But any network that continues to call on the riot-master Al Sharpton for his commentary on anything anywhere is hard-pressed to make a reasonable case for banning Ann Coulter.

-

UPDATE:  6 January 2009 – 3:06 PM

The Today Show has announced that Ann Coulter will, in fact, be on tomorrow’s program (Wednesday morning).

From The Politico:

Coulter has been talking up being bumped by NBC for the past two days, both on other networks and the radio. A controversy erupted when Drudge splashed that she’d been “banned for life,” leading NBC to deny that she was banned, and later offering her a new segment.

On her website, Coulter writes that “Drudge gets results: Today show changes mind.” She’ll be appearing during both the 7 a.m. and 10 a.m. hours.

So in the end, NBC will probably get more viewers and Coulter will sell more books—or at least further convince those in her camp that the MSM isn’t on her side. Either way, it should be entertaining.

Go Ann.

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PASS THE SALT

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 5, 2009

From the school of thought that brought us such blockbuster idiocies as “No DDT Means Malaria” and “Blood For Owl: Move It Lumber” comes a new thriller with all the intrigue that only moronic environmentalists can evoke.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the tangy tale of “Pass The Salt – The Puget Sound Chronicles.”

Floyd and Mary Beth Brown at Townhall.com tell the story:

pass the salt

keep that crap away from the water

Snow and ice cause an increase in car crashes. Car tires have little or no traction on these surfaces. We learn these basic facts in Driver’s Ed 101. However, officials in Seattle, Wash. disregard these physics laws concerning automobiles on snow and ice. They have implemented policies which aggravate dangerous road conditions and are leading to an increase in accidents and injuries.

They claim to act out of their concern for the environment. Hmmm. On the one hand, you have human death, bodily injury and suffering, money lost due to vehicular damage and time lost from work and school — versus the environment. What seems like a no-brainer to most Americans, and defies common sense, is the city’s refusal to use salt and other proven means of clearing streets of dangerous snow and ice. “If we were using salt, you’d see patches of bare road because salt is very effective,” said Alex Wiggins of the Seattle Department of Transportation. “We decided not to utilize salt because it’s not a healthy addition to Puget Sound.”

These environmentalist fanatics prefer people lose life and limb rather than damage a blade of grass or an insect. But like much government decision-making they are actually harming the environment more by choosing sand over salt on roads.

Between the environmentalists, the health police and the Democrats (often interchangeable), it’s almost a challenge to find elements of society that are not bass-ackwards anymore.

How long before headlines like this start popping up:

SCHOOL BUS SLIDES OFF HIGHWAY IN NO-SALT ZONE, FORTY DEAD. GOVERNOR SAYS NORDICK PURPLE-NOBBED TIGER-LILLIES OF PUGET SOUND TO HAVE A BANNER BLOOMS THIS SEASON

Just wait.

We are about to be bombarded with the dangers of Third Hand Smoke.

(I’m not kidding. See here).

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ON GLOBAL WARMING, ONE QUESTION FOR OBAMA

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 5, 2009

the quest to end denial

the quest to end denial

To start off, let me point out that, as of this writing, it is minus-36 degrees in Fairbanks, Alaska. The high temperature today was minus-28.

Just thought I’d throw that in.

Anyway…

Remember when Barack Obama vowed to end Global Warming denial? (Not just the “earth on the brink of death” ill-effects of the warming itself, but the denial of it).

Back on December 9th of last year, the next President of the United States met in Chicago with the guy who used to be the next President of the United States (and Joe Biden, too) in order to chew on some stale Global Warming snack crackers and reaffirm what will be the Obama Administration’s official policy on hysteria – that the battle against those who continue to deny that the planet is in danger must be swift, vigorous and unrelenting.

The hour-long get-together with Al Gore and Biden prompted The One to say:

“All three of us are in agreement that the time for delay is over. The time for denial is over. We all believe what the scientists have been telling us for years now, that this is a matter of urgency and national security, and it has to be dealt with in a serious way. That is what I intend my administration to do.”

A month before that, at an event hosted by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (who famously said “We simply must do everything in our power to slow down global warming before it’s too late”), Obama (in a pre-recorded video message) proclaimed:

The science is beyond dispute and the facts are clear. Sea levels are rising. Coastlines are shrinking. We’ve seen record drought, spreading famine, and storms that are growing stronger with each passing hurricane season.

That sea levels are rising at the same rate they have been for three hundred years shouldn’t be allowed to cloud the issue, of course.

And as Christopher Booker – journalist and author who has sharply criticized the claims of global warming alarmists – wrote in the UK’s Telegraph in November:

Far from global warming having increased the number of droughts, the very opposite is the case. The most comprehensive study (Narisma et al, 2007) showed that, of the 20th century’s 30 major drought episodes, 22 were in the first six decades, with only five between 1961 and 1980. The most recent two decades produced just three.

Recall back in October, 2007 when Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid blamed the California wild fires on global warming:

“As you know, one reason that we have the fires burning in Southern California is global warming. One reason the Colorado Basin is going dry is because of global warming.”

And who can forget this golden nugget from February of last year, spoken by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg:

Terrorists kill people, weapons of mass destruction have the potential to kill enormous numbers of people, global warming has the potential to kill everybody. This is really just as lethal, it’s just that the results are something we will face long term.

It looks like terrorism is number two with a bullet on the Bloomy Hit Parade.

All of this certitude is setting up a whole lot of people – including the next Chief Executive of the United States – to fall like Niagara flat on their panicked kissers.

My one question, if afforded the opportunity to pose it to our next Commander-In-Chief, would be: Have you, sir, ever actually read any peer-reviewed articles, heard any counter-arguments from any of a multitude of respected scientists, or reviewed any position papers that question the entire man-made global warming position?

Fair question, no?

To this day, there is no scientific evidence of any kind proving that increased levels of CO2 in the atmosphere lead to warming. In fact, there is more to suggest the reverse is true – that higher CO2 levels have historically followed temperature increases.

In Canada, according to Barry Cooper of the Calgary Herald, the hysteria of Global Warming may be entering a new phase:

globe_2025jan06As James Peden, an atmospheric physicist, said, many scientists “are now searching for a way to back out quietly” from global-warming fearmongering, “without having their professional careers ruined.”

The crux of it is that major research grants and, in this country, prestigious Canada Research Chairs, have been awarded on the assumption something must be done to stop CO2 from destroying the world.

There was even worse news for those who believed in human-caused climate change. Up to now most of the debate, including the notorious intellectual swindle of the hockey stick graph, amounted to what paleoclimatologist Ian Clark called “wiggle watching” –matching the ups and downs of temperature with the ups and downs of CO2 or, say, sun spots. Until recently there was no experimental evidence to decide which wiggle was worth watching.

In 2006, experiments at the Danish National Space Center provided evidence that changes in the magnetic field of the sun can affect not CO2 but water vapour–clouds–which are responsible for up to 95 per cent of the warmth that keeps Earth habitable. Last year the implications finally sunk in.

One has to wonder how long it will take until the community of squiggly-light-bulb green-o-crats, Kyoto knuckleheads, and hysteria-starved mercury jockeys realize that two plus two does not equal twelve – and that includes The One, Senator John McCain, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Paris Hilton, the dolts who run NBC, Elmo from Sesame Street and anyone else mule-headed enough (insert “dumb,” if you like) to stick with this crap.

Like the screeching delirium caused by the threat of homosexual AIDS wiping out large portions of the American population or the shutdown of the entire Western Hemisphere due to the apocalyptic “Y2K” bug, today’s madness – “Global Warming” (or “Climate Change” or “Doomsday – Part Eighteen”) – will be, within most of our lifetimes, exposed as the profound and ridiculous fraud it is, one of the greatest snow jobs (pun intended) ever contrived.

A nice try by the anti-technology, anti-industry, anti-capitalist, anti-big business carbon-credit counters, but it won’t fly for very much longer – except, of course, in universities, public schools, on television, in popular music and motion pictures and anywhere where idiocy is encouraged.

In the meantime, until such a time when the Gore Contingency becomes the fringe on this issue (yeah, right!), people like the President of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus, who believes the man-made global warming disaster is a myth, will be ostracized and kept from the EU mainstream as much as possible, as recently depicted in the Times Online:

The European Union’s new figurehead believes that climate change is a dangerous myth and has compared the union to a Communist state.

The views of President Vaclav Klaus of the Czech Republic, 67, have left the government of Mirek Topolanek, his bitter opponent, determined to keep him as far away as possible from the EU presidency, which it took over from France yesterday.

The Czech president, who caused a diplomatic incident by dining with opponents of the EU’s Lisbon treaty on a recent visit to Ireland, has a largely ceremonial role.

But there are already fears that, after the dynamic EU presidency of Nicolas Sarkozy – including his hyper-active attempts at international diplomacy over the credit crisis and Georgia as well as an historic agreement to cut greenhouse gases – the Czech effort will be mired in infighting and overshadowed by the platform it will give to Mr Klaus and his controversial views.

That last sentence is critical.

Note that it is Mr. Klaus’ view – that humankind’s activities are not leading to catastrophic climactic consequences – deemed the controversial position. It is a “consider the source” moment. The “community” viewing him as out of step is, of course, the European Union.

Enough said.

(For those familiar with it, a very famous Twilight Zone episode from 1960, “The Private World of Darkness,” comes to mind).

I wonder if Barack Obama has a backup plan – a “jettison” option, if you will - on any references he may make to “global warming” during his inaugural speech – just in case wind chills are hovering around zero on January 20th.

No need to look silly on your first day.

-

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ON GLOBAL WARMING, ONE QUESTION FOR OBAMA

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 5, 2009

the quest to end denial

the quest to end denial

To start off, let me point out that, as of this writing, it is minus-36 degrees in Fairbanks, Alaska. The high temperature today was minus-28.

Just thought I’d throw that in.

Anyway…

Remember when Barack Obama vowed to end Global Warming denial? (Not just the “earth on the brink of death” ill-effects of the warming itself, but the denial of it).

Back on December 9th of last year, the next President of the United States met in Chicago with the guy who used to be the next President of the United States (and Joe Biden, too) in order to chew on some stale Global Warming snack crackers and reaffirm what will be the Obama Administration’s official policy on hysteria – that the battle against those who continue to deny that the planet is in danger must be swift, vigorous and unrelenting.

The hour-long get-together with Al Gore and Biden prompted The One to say:

“All three of us are in agreement that the time for delay is over. The time for denial is over. We all believe what the scientists have been telling us for years now, that this is a matter of urgency and national security, and it has to be dealt with in a serious way. That is what I intend my administration to do.”

A month before that, at an event hosted by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (who famously said “We simply must do everything in our power to slow down global warming before it’s too late”), Obama (in a pre-recorded video message) proclaimed:

The science is beyond dispute and the facts are clear. Sea levels are rising. Coastlines are shrinking. We’ve seen record drought, spreading famine, and storms that are growing stronger with each passing hurricane season.

That sea levels are rising at the same rate they have been for three hundred years shouldn’t be allowed to cloud the issue, of course.

And as Christopher Booker – journalist and author who has sharply criticized the claims of global warming alarmists – wrote in the UK’s Telegraph in November:

Far from global warming having increased the number of droughts, the very opposite is the case. The most comprehensive study (Narisma et al, 2007) showed that, of the 20th century’s 30 major drought episodes, 22 were in the first six decades, with only five between 1961 and 1980. The most recent two decades produced just three.

Recall back in October, 2007 when Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid blamed the California wild fires on global warming:

“As you know, one reason that we have the fires burning in Southern California is global warming. One reason the Colorado Basin is going dry is because of global warming.”

And who can forget this golden nugget from February of last year, spoken by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg:

Terrorists kill people, weapons of mass destruction have the potential to kill enormous numbers of people, global warming has the potential to kill everybody. This is really just as lethal, it’s just that the results are something we will face long term.

It looks like terrorism is number two with a bullet on the Bloomy Hit Parade.

All of this certitude is setting up a whole lot of people – including the next Chief Executive of the United States – to fall like Niagara flat on their panicked kissers.

My one question, if afforded the opportunity to pose it to our next Commander-In-Chief, would be: Have you, sir, ever actually read any peer-reviewed articles, heard any counter-arguments from any of a multitude of respected scientists, or reviewed any position papers that question the entire man-made global warming position?

Fair question, no?

To this day, there is no scientific evidence of any kind proving that increased levels of CO2 in the atmosphere lead to warming. In fact, there is more to suggest the reverse is true – that higher CO2 levels have historically followed temperature increases.

In Canada, according to Barry Cooper of the Calgary Herald, the hysteria of Global Warming may be entering a new phase:

globe_2025jan06As James Peden, an atmospheric physicist, said, many scientists “are now searching for a way to back out quietly” from global-warming fearmongering, “without having their professional careers ruined.”

The crux of it is that major research grants and, in this country, prestigious Canada Research Chairs, have been awarded on the assumption something must be done to stop CO2 from destroying the world.

There was even worse news for those who believed in human-caused climate change. Up to now most of the debate, including the notorious intellectual swindle of the hockey stick graph, amounted to what paleoclimatologist Ian Clark called “wiggle watching” –matching the ups and downs of temperature with the ups and downs of CO2 or, say, sun spots. Until recently there was no experimental evidence to decide which wiggle was worth watching.

In 2006, experiments at the Danish National Space Center provided evidence that changes in the magnetic field of the sun can affect not CO2 but water vapour–clouds–which are responsible for up to 95 per cent of the warmth that keeps Earth habitable. Last year the implications finally sunk in.

One has to wonder how long it will take until the community of squiggly-light-bulb green-o-crats, Kyoto knuckleheads, and hysteria-starved mercury jockeys realize that two plus two does not equal twelve – and that includes The One, Senator John McCain, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Paris Hilton, the dolts who run NBC, Elmo from Sesame Street and anyone else mule-headed enough (insert “dumb,” if you like) to stick with this crap.

Like the screeching delirium caused by the threat of homosexual AIDS wiping out large portions of the American population or the shutdown of the entire Western Hemisphere due to the apocalyptic “Y2K” bug, today’s madness – “Global Warming” (or “Climate Change” or “Doomsday – Part Eighteen”) – will be, within most of our lifetimes, exposed as the profound and ridiculous fraud it is, one of the greatest snow jobs (pun intended) ever contrived.

A nice try by the anti-technology, anti-industry, anti-capitalist, anti-big business carbon-credit counters, but it won’t fly for very much longer – except, of course, in universities, public schools, on television, in popular music and motion pictures and anywhere where idiocy is encouraged.

In the meantime, until such a time when the Gore Contingency becomes the fringe on this issue (yeah, right!), people like the President of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus, who believes the man-made global warming disaster is a myth, will be ostracized and kept from the EU mainstream as much as possible, as recently depicted in the Times Online:

The European Union’s new figurehead believes that climate change is a dangerous myth and has compared the union to a Communist state.

The views of President Vaclav Klaus of the Czech Republic, 67, have left the government of Mirek Topolanek, his bitter opponent, determined to keep him as far away as possible from the EU presidency, which it took over from France yesterday.

The Czech president, who caused a diplomatic incident by dining with opponents of the EU’s Lisbon treaty on a recent visit to Ireland, has a largely ceremonial role.

But there are already fears that, after the dynamic EU presidency of Nicolas Sarkozy – including his hyper-active attempts at international diplomacy over the credit crisis and Georgia as well as an historic agreement to cut greenhouse gases – the Czech effort will be mired in infighting and overshadowed by the platform it will give to Mr Klaus and his controversial views.

That last sentence is critical.

Note that it is Mr. Klaus’ view – that humankind’s activities are not leading to catastrophic climactic consequences – deemed the controversial position. It is a “consider the source” moment. The “community” viewing him as out of step is, of course, the European Union.

Enough said.

(For those familiar with it, a very famous Twilight Zone episode from 1960, “The Private World of Darkness,” comes to mind).

I wonder if Barack Obama has a backup plan – a “jettison” option, if you will - on any references he may make to “global warming” during his inaugural speech – just in case wind chills are hovering around zero on January 20th.

No need to look silly on your first day.

-

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NOW THAT’S MEDIA BIAS … WOW

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 3, 2009

bias-headline

 

Taken directly from the UK Guardian’s Gaza Diary web page earlier today.

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UNDERWAY

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 3, 2009

satelliteGround Operations are underway in the Gaza Strip.

I wish the IDF the very best of luck and every success with Operation Cast Lead.

This paragraph from the Jerusalem Post is key:

The IDF warned that terrorists using civilians as human shields would bear full responsibility for their fate. The IDF spokesperson emphasized that “anyone who hides a terrorist or weapons in his house is considered a terrorist,” adding that “the residents of Gaza are not the target of the operation.”

This is precisely what separates the “good guys” from the “bad guys.”

It is what distinguishes terrorists from those who act to eradicate evil.

It is what defines and divides cowards and heroes.

It is what classifies those who wish to kill innocents from those who defend themselves against murderous aggression.

That I even have to make this statement shows precisely how upside down our world has become … but make no mistake about it, Hamas is wholly to blame for this.

For the first time since the start of Operation Cast Lead, IDF ground troops entered the Gaza Strip on Saturday evening, exchanging fire with Hamas gunmen.

Channel 2 reported that the Navy was imposing a blockade on the water near Gaza to prevent Hamas from receiving assistance through Gaza’s coastline.

The IDF said that a large amount of troops from the Armored Corps, Engineering Corps and Infantry Corps entered the territory with the purpose of destroying Hamas infrastructure and preventing rocket fire by taking control of launching pads “in order to greatly reduce the quantity of rockets fired at Israel and Israeli civilians.”

From the Associated Press:

“We have many, many targets,” Israeli military spokeswoman Maj. Avital Leibovich told CNN, adding that Hamas has been digging smuggling tunnels and other facilities. “To my estimation, it will be a lengthy operation,” she said.

“The goal is to try and take over some of the those launching areas that were responsible for the many launches, thousands of launches in fact, toward Israeli civilians,” she said. “The civilians are not our target. We are looking only after militants. Hamas militants.”

No heavy analysis required at this moment.

Now, win.

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HUSBAND OF THE YEAR FINALIST TWO, 2008

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 3, 2009

husband-of-the-year-2

 

Priorities, man.

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THE FIDDLERS FIVE

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 3, 2009

i can carry it in my suitcase

Paterson: I can carry it home in my suitcase

Five Governors – all Democrats – are asking that the federal government provide a thousand billion dollars to the fifty states (that’s a trillion dollars for those of you educated in public school) to help pay for “education, welfare and infrastructure.”

The Obamacratic trinity.

According to New York Governor David Paterson – one of the five Governors pressing for the big T – forty-three states are running deficits totaling $100 billion (So, naturally, an extra $900 billion seems perfectly reasonable).

Lookout taxpayers … blue state grab-hands are on the way.

As I have written about and lamented extensively since Bailout America hit the big stage, we could very well see hard working taxpayers in a Rocky Mountain state, say Wyoming, being hit up for tax dollars to help support people living in public housing in Coney Island, Brooklyn … or a shoe-store owner in Meridian, Mississippi paying more so that money can be poured into failing public schools in Milwaukee or Chicago or anyplace where the tax-dollar-per-student ratio is embarrassingly (and unproductively) high … or warehouse workers in Oklahoma watching their tax burden jump a bit so that public schools in Boston can feed breakfast to kids who should be eating at home.

For those of you who feel you’ve seen this movie before, you have. It bears repeating, however, because the invention has yet to be developed that can measure the level of absurdity associated with every aspect of this bailout disaster. People from all over the star-spangled map will quite literally see their taxes rise (as will generation after generation to come) so that Washington, D.C. can collect it all before shipping it right back out disproportionately to outstretched hands.

And where do you think most of it will wind up?

Inner cities?

Failing school districts?

Consider that New York’s budget deficit alone is over $15 billion! (So, of course, the logical answer is to tap taxpayers in the other 49 states).

Now that’s the America we sing about around the campfire!

Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick (did I mention he was a Democrat?) summed it up as well as anyone when he said, “It’s clear that the federal government needs to step in and jump-start the economy.”

Good, Deval.

John Hurdle at Reuters writes:

The latest package calls for $350 billion to create jobs by building or repairing roads, bridges and other public works; $250 billion to maintain education; and another $250 billion in “counter-cyclical” spending such as extending unemployment benefits and food stamps, which are typically a responsibility of the states.

The remainder would be used to fund middle-class tax cuts, stimulate the embattled housing market, and stem the tide of home foreclosures through a loan-modification program.

Middle Class tax cuts?

Is that old thing still around? Wow, that brings me back to the golden days of the 2008 campaign.

I haven’t written about redistribution of wealth since just before Thanksgiving.  

Gov. Jon Corzine of New Jersey said he hoped some of the $700 billion authorized by Congress in the Troubled Asset Relief Program would be available to help the housing market.

Of course, he did.

But fear not … there are some on our side speaking up.

The Republican Governors Association, however, said the level of federal aid being sought would create a burden for the future.

“The proposal by the Democratic governors goes beyond things like ‘shovel-ready’ infrastructure projects and is essentially a bailout of these states’ general funds,” Nick Ayers, executive director of the Republican Governors Association, said in a statement. “Now is the time to focus on finding cost-effective ways to provide essential services without burdening future generations with ever greater debt.”

The entire “shovel-ready” infrastructure proposal always sounded like political double-speak to me. (Imagine that). Am I to assume that everyone out of work due to the down economy will know how to operate the “shovels” (along with everything else) needed to get these projects going?

And don’t forget the money needed to conduct the séances summoning the spirit of FDR during this resuscitation of the “New Deal.”

That’ll be huge.

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HUSBAND OF THE YEAR FINALIST ONE, 2008

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 2, 2009

husband-of-the-year1

 

Go feminism!

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LEANING TOWARD CAROLINE

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 2, 2009

caroline1Does this actually surprise anyone?

The illustrious Governor of the State of New York, David Paterson, who undoubtedly will figure out ways to implement an armpit hair tax for Empire State residents sometime soon, is allegedly leaning toward Caroline Kennedy to fill the Senate seat being abandoned by Hillary Clinton.

I’m actually splitting a kidney, falling over in fits of “I told you so” silly giggles – one, because I have said all along that Caroline would get the seat, and two, because the “Fat Tax” and “I-Tunes Tax” state is steadily evolving into one long, badly-performed vaudeville routine (if it hasn’t already).

Here in the Empire State, we have Chuck “Bailout Bucks for New York” Schumer representing us in the Senate. That fact alone is sufficient enough to qualify us as “yuk-yuk” central.

We also have Mike “Screw Term Limits” Bloomberg as our used-to-be-Democrat turned Republican now Independent (which really means liberal) Mayor.

I honestly get e-mails all the time from out-of-state friends … “What the hell are you guys doing over there?”

And now we may be seeing a possible Senator Caroline Kennedy.

This is a woman who can fit the “experience” portion of her resume on the dark side of a proton and articulates as well as a peacock with peanut butter in its mouth.

So what?

She’s daddy’s little girl.

According to MSNBC:

Officials say the daughter of the late President John F. Kennedy will be the governor’s choice to fill the New York Senate seat being vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Two people close to Gov. David Paterson tell The Associated Press they believe Caroline Kennedy will be his choice, but the governor cautions he’s still looking.

The New York Times reports that during a New Year’s Day open house at the executive mansion, Paterson said “It ain’t nothin’ till I calls it.” The quote recalls a statement once made by legendary baseball umpire Bill Klem.

I understand the “qualification” checklist for a United States Senator is far different than for, say, President of the United States (please see Community Organizer) … but shall we break out the litany of “inexperienced” A-Bombs tossed at Sarah Palin during the campaign season last year from the same folks who will undoubetdly screech the praises of JFK’s baby?

Obviously, it hasn’t happened yet.  This is just a rumor.

You know, we’ll have to, you know, uh, see what, you know, happens.

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FREEDOM OF PRESS BAILOUT

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 2, 2009

With each passing day, it seems that the number of industries in the United States not asking for a chunk of the bailout loaf dwindles. Safe to say, if somehow belly-button lint were a commodity, you can wager your last nickel that representatives of the American navel lobby would be banging at bailout’s door for a touch.

constitution_quill_penWith so many entities begging for their own wedge of government rescue, does it surprise anyone that the newspaper industry is the latest to come a-mooching? That papers are struggling all across the country isn’t news to anyone – nor should it be. The Old Grey Lady herself, as widely reported in recent weeks, is desperate for cash – as are others like the Tribune Company and the McClatchy Company.

But putting aside the everyday, off-the-rack objections that I (and many others) have voiced over and over about government bailouts of private industries in general, does it worry anyone that a bailout of newspapers could actually come to fruition?

If not, shouldn’t it?

The idea of government throwing life preservers at free press publications so that they may survive is a dangerous game to play.

From Reuters:

Connecticut lawmaker Frank Nicastro sees saving the local newspaper as his duty. But others think he and his colleagues are setting a worrisome precedent for government involvement in the U.S. press. Nicastro represents Connecticut’s 79th assembly district, which includes Bristol, a city of about 61,000 people outside Hartford, the state capital. Its paper, The Bristol Press, may fold within days, along with The Herald in nearby New Britain.

That is because publisher Journal Register, in danger of being crushed under hundreds of millions of dollars of debt, says it cannot afford to keep them open anymore.

Nicastro and fellow legislators want the papers to survive, and petitioned the state government to do something about it. “The media is a vitally important part of America,” he said, particularly local papers that cover news ignored by big papers and television and radio stations.

To some experts, that sounds like a bailout, a word that resurfaced this year after the U.S. government agreed to give hundreds of billions of dollars to the automobile and financial sectors.

Relying on government help raises ethical questions for the press, whose traditional role has been to operate free from government influence as it tries to hold politicians accountable to the people who elected them. Even some publishers desperate for help are wary of this route.

The question is whether or not the free press can truly remain free when the government rides in on its white stallion to rescue it from market-driven doom. In this particular case, the state of Connecticut has not offered cash to the failing publications, but rather tax breaks and other incentives, such as “training funds” and “financing opportunities.”

But once the state doles out even this kind of medicine to sick newspapers, what then? Can this possibly be a good precedent to set?

Connecticut does not see trying to find a buyer and offering tax breaks as exerting influence on the press, said Joan McDonald, the economic development commissioner.

“It is what we do … with companies whether it’s in aerospace, biomedical devices, biotech or financial services,” she said. “If a company is developing laser technology, we don’t get into the business of what lasers are used for.”

Newspapers (and media in general) are already lambasted as being agenda-driven engines of political influence (rightly so in many cases). For anyone taking in oxygen, it’s hard to deny that. Still, depending on (and allowing) the government to serve as actual lifelines for failing papers – who have traditionally existed to function outside of the direct influence of government – is more than troublesome.

Providing government support can muddy that mission, said Paul Janensch, a journalism professor at Quinnipiac University in Connecticut, and a former reporter and editor.

“You can’t expect a watchdog to bite the hand that feeds it,” he said.

Even as industries deemed too important to fail are seeking bailouts, most newspaper publishers have refused to give serious thought to the idea, though some industry insiders recounted joking about it with other newspaper executives.

“The whole idea of the First Amendment and separating media and giving them freedom of control from the government is sacrosanct,” said Digby Solomon, publisher of Tribune Co’s Daily Press in Newport News, Virginia.

I am an anti-bailout guy to begin with … and while arguments can be made, much as I might disagree with them, about the necessity of rescuing financial institutions, there is simply no palatable argument that can be made in support of the government rescue of privately owned newspapers. Again, no cash is being offered here, but if ever a slope was slippery, this is it.

Indeed, newspaper publishers are businesses, like automobile companies, and need to be able to survive based on the merits (and demand for) their product in the marketplace. In that respect, they are no different from any other free market enterprise.

However, newspapers (and other media outlets) are different in that they wield incredible influence on the American political landscape precisely because they are not supported by government. It’s what the Freedom of Press clause in the First Amendment is all about. The media may endorse given policies or even construct a messianic veneer for a given candidate, but to be assisted by government – even with non-cash inducements – somehow doesn’t sit right.

Call me silly.

If a newspaper cannot compete, let it die the death it deserves.

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HAPPY 2009!

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 1, 2009

new-year

 

Happy New Year!

 

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